Thursday, Sep. 24, 2009

My biological clock is not ticking

My biological clock is not ticking. There is no short fuse that will slowly burn down and explode my egg reserves. However, my partner's biorhythm is steadily speeding up. It's a bit backassward, but we're trying to figure out who needs to catch up or slow down.

In a world where most people worry about their money in the stock market, when is it a good time to take stock in your life and expand your brand name?

A lot of people argue that there's no perfect market price to have children in. If you just sit and watch your savings fluctuate, you might never decide to go all-in. But something has to be said for parents who are financially secure when the stork pays them a visit.

Of course it's difficult to pinch pennies in a present time when cracking your penny jar is a weekly occurrence just to pay for the 99 cent value meals at drive-thrus.

I'm not one of those women who want to put off having children until the last minute, or doesn't want to have to deal with kids. Believe me, I can't wait to have offspring. But it would be really irresponsible of me to have one right now.

Still, I'm teetering on this unbalanced scale of when to pursue a family.

A general rule is if you can take care of a plant, you should upgrade to an animal. If you can care for an animal, you are better inclined to take care of another person. With this other person, maybe you can handle offspring.

Which is funny, considering my mother has killed off every plant we've given her, and somehow my siblings and I have grown up just fine. So maybe the rules are just guidelines. Still, I can't help but wonder why people who can't even afford to pay off their overpriced couches jump into having children.

(I'm sure everyone has seen some couple where they should have been "snipped" and not allowed to breed.)

There's still those days where my baby-making drive kicks in full-blast and I think "Hell yeah, I'm ready," only to be quickly silenced when I start thinking about which bills I have to pay...

I know baby-making should not revolve around wallets, but the responsible half of me is winning the screaming match inside my head against the impulse side.

One can't help but go gaga over an adorable kid. But, like puppies, they grow up and people don't think ahead for when that happens. Do I really want to have to deal with a teenager who has an attitude problem and wants a Playstation 9? Do I want to give up going to sleep at 3 a.m. for waking up at 3 a.m. to a baby crying?

I'm being a bit sterile about the hypothetical situation, but sometimes a little wise-cracking is necessary. There's no doubt a child brings much love into a family -- but how many times have you caught yourself thinking "What's wrong with that kid's parents?! What bad parenting..."?

In this recession, my baby-making machine is unlikely to go on strike any time soon, so I have some time to see how the stock market goes.