Friday, Sep. 18, 2009

Weirdos like to drink coffee, too

Ever feel like people are watching you? Well, if you go to a certain coffee shop, you definitely will get that feeling - and no, it's not just you.

It seems nearly every time I get coffee at this place, there's some person with a few screws loose who wants company there. And yes, I've realized that people might think the same thing about me, but at least I don't look like I use magic markers for makeup and apply it in the dark.

Person #1 is almost always there when I go. She has short, short hair, lipstick that goes all the way around her mouth and colorful eyeshadow that goes up to her brows. More or less, she looks like a clown. A very sad and angry clown.

One barista said her guardian drops her off there for a couple hours and then picks her up later. People are definitely uncomfortable with her presence, especially the fact that she chain smokes outside of the building. But she considers it her "safe spot" so her guardian refuses to take her elsewhere. Still, I don't believe a coffee shop next to a busy intersection is a good babysitter...

I'm not sure what exactly is wrong with her, but she makes me sad... in a very creeped out way. She talks to herself and I've been told she sometimes swings her arms in a punching motion, scaring the people around her. She frequently asks people if she can sit with them, which they usually decline. Once, I saw her with a group of teenagers, which made me happy that she found some company. Still, she is the type who you size-up and wonder if you could take out in case of an emergency...

Person #2 started to show up almost after Person #1. He's a rather large fellow who also talks to himself. At first my friend and I thought he had a bluetooth in his ear... Or we hoped he had a bluetooth. He once came up to me and asked if he knew me. I couldn't understand what he was saying because he whispered a lot, but then he just walked away. I've seen him several times since then and once he sat directly across from me, just staring as I tried to have a comfortable conversation with my friend.

"Is that guy staring at you?" my friend asked. "...I think so," I sighed. It wasn't the first time he had done this.

Now, whenever I go in and he's there, I get this tingling feeling that he's looking. Sure enough, if I do a quick scan in his direction, his eyes are locked on me.

Person #3 was an older gentleman in his 40s or 50s. He seemed perfectly normal when he came in.

I was waiting for my mother to come join me for coffee and this guy walks in, fills up his thermos, then sits across from me. At first I thought he was just staring out the window behind me. Then I realized he was staring at me. Maybe he's waiting for a friend, I thought. When my mother came, he got up to move. After about an hour of chatting, I realized he was sitting diagonally behind my mother, still staring at me. I gave my mom a code for escaping and we went outside. Almost immediately, the man exited the building, got in his car and left.

I'm not sure what it is, or if I give off some pheromone that attracts the weirdoes, but I've since quit going to that place. Sure, it's a minor problem that deals with people's personal space, but I don't need any more stress or paranoia in my life. And I'm one more visit from a crazy person away from screaming "What do you want?!" And that's the last thing that coffee place needs - another crazy person making a scene.