Thursday, Jul. 23, 2009

Hydro fever... Catch it!

The time has come. Once a year my boss sneaks up behind us and asks, "Are you ready for the thunder?!" or something like that. My coworker, Wench Jeanie and I usually respond with blank stares.

While thousands of people have a reason to be happy about the Water Follies this weekend, I usually find it hard to crack a smile.

"Geeze, BZ, way to be a major drag, again!" you might think. Yes, I complain about the boat races - but this year I'm trying not to.

My method of getting through this weekend? Be overly psyched up. That way, the decline into depression will be more gradual, than just going into the situation with the gun cocked and pointed to my head.

Don't get me wrong - the races are great for our community. It gets people outdoors, there's tons of vendors, good entertainment and if you don't have kids, there's beer gardens. People say it's such a rowdy crowd, but there are tons of kids by the water who simply enjoy watching the super fast boats fly by. Except for the kids who are swimming in the water by the race track. Those kids I could care less about... you play next to a jet engine, it's your fault if you get sucked in.

The boat races are paced just right - there's never back-to-back-to-back action. They give you some time between heats to grab a hot dog or some Oh Boy! Oberto jerky from the jerky girls in their inflatable castle (don't act like you don't know). Just like a carnival, there's carnie-looking people in the pit crew who take care of all the behind-the-scenes stuff. They're the not-so-subtle ninjas of the boat racing world.

So why the glum face? Sure, I hate working boat races to begin with, but this year in particular is really trying on me. The races are close to my wedding, meaning it's highly possible that I will sport a wicked farmers tan in my strapless dress... Which will be documented forever in my wedding photos (taken by Herald photographer Paul T. Erickson - thank you!).

While most of you would just say wear sunblock and dress like a conservative Middle Eastern woman, it's tough when you're squatting on a scaffold in 102 degree heat in the middle of nowhere with the sun reflecting off the water on -- okay, I'm complaining. But a little whining is allowed.

This year, we haven't nicknamed our intern. I think I'll dub him our Sleepy Intern since he always looks like he's tired. While I have a soft spot in my heart for our last two interns Dylan and Maria, I'm hoping Sleepy Intern steps up and wows us with his photography skills.

My boss, Prince Eric, asked me, "What's with your generation and being so cocky?" I didn't really have an answer for him except that my generation has to try that much harder to stand out from the rest. Twenty-somethings and younger are in one giant competition. It's like high school never ends, which is really like being trapped in a nightmare. Somehow we have to appear put-together and in a sense "cocky."

I meet a lot of these cocky types at the boat races - especially girls. Twenty-something guys showboat their flavors of the week, and these girls think they're the s--- because they're wearing short shorts and a bikini top. While it's entertaining for the rest of us as they strut around the pits, I can't help but wonder if that's what I would be doing if I dated someone who enjoyed going to the boat races. I mean, I do have two new bathing suits...

This weekend I won't have the energy to be cocky. I won't be anything except a melting popsicle. Stay tuned for my next blog on Water Follies fashion - the Dos and Do Nots. Hydro fever... Catch it!