Wednesday, Jun. 10, 2009

Grocery shopping 101

Is it just me, or are old people grocery shopping adorably awesome?

Normally, I get really aggravated when I grocery shop. I hate all the undisciplined children running amuck and I especially furrow my brows when women who think they are all high-and-mighty cut in front of you with their shopping cart.

Maybe that's why I get along with old people so well. I'm like one of them... "You damn whipper-snappers!"

But seriously, I enjoy buying food. It's a weird pleasure for me, but I like getting fresh veggies and fruits and thinking about what I'm going to make this week.

I was in an especially good mood this morning when I stopped by Safeway. Despite two women speaking another language, taking up the WHOLE aisle and refusing to move, I was still in good spirits.

Sometimes if I time it right, I'll shop with a group from a nearby retirement home in the morning. I love it. They're usually very polite and excited to get out and look for the things on their lists.

I especially love the Safeway cashiers in the morning. There's one guy who always calls his customers "doll" and one woman who you can never be mad at. She's just bubbly and chipper. Oh, and they do their job without complaint. That's hard to find in today's youth.

But anyway, the folks from the retirement home walked around pushing their carts (slowly, mind you), and were super excited about using their coupons and finding out how much they saved. You can't help but watch and smile, like watching fireflies at night floating around slowly.

Perhaps it's because I watched Benjamin Button this month, but I get this feeling that older people know what life is all about. There's a saying that you can only understand life backwards... and I somewhat believe it. Sure, older folks may not always be the most eloquent, but their knowledge is still rattling around inside their head.

For some reason I don't get that serene feeling when I shop at places like WinCo. My boss, who strongly dislikes WinCo and Costco, is probably shaking his head, like "WHY do you shop there?" But hey, they offer cheap prices and someday when I can afford to be picky, I will.

I don't particularly enjoy WinCo because the aisles are always too small and crowded. There always seems to be a million people in there, as if they all got this E-mail that there was going to be a killer party at this designated time. I try to maneuver my shopping cart with the stealth of a ninja because I hate it when people just leave their carts in the middle of an aisle while they go off and contemplate over a can of beans for five minutes. Keep your damn cart to the side, jackass...

Not wanting to cause a 14-cart pile-up in front of the green beans stand, I parked my cart nearby, then proceeded to grab a plastic bag before diving in with the 10 other people wanting beans. The next thing I knew, I was being dragged out of the crowd by the hood of my jacket. An old man shook his finger at me, saying I shouldn't leave my cart unattended because someone might steal my purse. A little flabbergasted, I just nodded like a five-year-old.

The only reason I still go back to Costco is because the guys who handle my prescription are super nice. That, and you can't beat a $1.50 hot dog AND unlimited fountain drink... I don't necessarily see tons of older people there. But when I do, I always offer to help them to their car in hopes they'll share with me some secrets of the world.