Wednesday, Mar. 25, 2009

I'm not a hypochondriac, but sometimes I wonder

If I have a superpower, it's probably sending myself into a panic and then getting sick. I'm not a hypochondriac, but sometimes I wonder.

After reading about how a local resident contracted the flesh-eating virus, and learning about how doctors don't really know what causes it, made me add another line to my list of things to worry about in my life.

I have my share of second-long freak outs:

"What the hell is that?! Do I have melanoma?? Oh yeah, it's just a blood blister..."

But with the flesh-eating virus, you never know when it could strike. You get flu-like symptoms and it's all very ambiguous. So when I left work on Monday, I suddenly felt my stomach cramping up and began getting all sweaty. No, it wasn't diarrhea - it was the flu.

I hurried my fabulous little ass home and curled into a ball on my bed. Sweating and feeling all-around nasty, I kept checking my skin for discoloration and swelling. No flesh-eating virus present. Just a brain-full of stupid phobias.

As Mr. Big came home and was feeding our dog, I playfully mentioned the possibility that I might have the flesh-eating virus. After the words came out of my mouth, I saw through the corner of my eye his reaction, which was all it took to snap me back into reality.

Yet in all fairness, it's kind of hard not to freak out these days. People around you are constantly being diagnosed with illnesses, conditions - even cancer. And it's those people who repeatedly tell you to be careful and constantly check yourself out by a doctor. It's not necessarily a bad thing to be health-conscious, because who knows, it could save your life.

Still, every time I contemplate going to the doctor because of something, I think of two things. One, is my crazy ex who used to drag me to the ER every single time he thought something was wrong with him. The second, is a character on Scrubs who constantly went to the ER to have tests done because he thought he had whatever was recently in the news. The doctors got so agitated, they scheduled him to have bone marrow taken from his spine (a very painful procedure) just to set him straight, only to find that he does, in fact, have bone cancer.

My aunt had breast cancer. A friend from high school had a rare form of skin cancer. Heck, my boss has cancer. I'm really not trying to belittle people who really do fear they might have something wrong with them, nor am I making fun of people who actually do have the flesh-eating virus. I suppose it's just an example of fearing the unknown.

While I may never really know the true reason why I came down with the flu, I hope it's not because I worried myself into this state. It's neither a fun or fabulous place to be in.