Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2008

A bunch of sick puppies

Are you or your loved ones sick? Would they like to be? Then bring them on around the Tri-City Herald!

It appears my coworkers and I got sick, with the exception of Prince Eric. My mother was sick. My aunt was sick. My sister and her husband were sick. Even their dog is sick. Hell, my cat is sick. Everybody is sick these days.

King Andy has been working via the comfort of his own home. Each morning there's an E-mail reading "Still Sick" in the subject line. Becoming a new father to a 4-year-old girl, he's getting familiar with sharing his home, food and germs. Kids are like drug mules - they smuggle germs everywhere, even into your own home.

Wench Jeanie (she chose her name, not me), the glue that holds our department together, has a cold but is in the office everyday. We try not to talk to each other, mostly because she's super busy working on my boss' wine magazine, but also because I fear crossing her cold with my flu, creating a super-virus that would be unstoppable.

Last Saturday the phrase "Kill me" kept scrolling through my head. My body burned up to 104.8 degrees, making me super hot to the touch, yet I couldn't stop curling up in all of my blankets.

Mr. Big put ice-cold wash clothes on my head, trying to draw the heat from my body. Meanwhile, my lymph nodes swelled to the size of kiwis. Seriously, you could've juiced those suckers.

As I called my mother for reinforcements, she informed me my cat was sick.

"Oh, Kilala's sick but is being so good...she's been throwing up, but just in her litter box," she nonchalantly explained. SUCCESS! My cat does have manners.

On much sadder news, my sister's dog isn't doing so well. Her Chocolate lab/Vizsla mix named Mohka has cancer. After multiple vet trips, they are just trying to keep her comfortable. This brings up the question - are mixed breeds truly stronger, or are they more prone to disease? Look at Ligers...

Want to know what saved me? Mountain Dew. For real. Mr. Big had brought a bottle home Thursday night, but I hadn't felt like drinking much of anything until Saturday afternoon. I took a cold shower and then chugged the bottle. Surprisingly, I felt better. Sure, it was probably the cold shower that brought me down to 102 temperature, but inside my head it was all thanks to the Dew.