Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2008

Staying good in the city of sin

I was planning on taking a mental health day from work to recover from my Vegas trip. Instead, I hobbled into the office with my sunglasses on, nursing a Mountain Dew. I have stayed up past 3 a.m. for almost a week.

Me, four other beautiful ladies and one guy headed to Vegas for three nights and four days. It was the best idea ever. We were each stressed out, needing a release. And Vegas is the perfect place to let it all out.

I'm still not sure if the hotel we stayed at is pronounced "Pah-latz-ee-oh" or "Pah-lazz-oh" but oh well. It was friggin' awesome.

The Palazzo Bella Suite had two queen beds, a sunken living room, an L-couch with a pull-out bed, three flat-screen TVs (including one in the bathroom) and the biggest hotel bathroom I'd ever seen.

The first thing we all did (besides take pictures of the hotel like over-excited tourists) was shopping at the Fashion Show Mall. That place is huge. And a 20 oz bottle of Mountain Dew costs $2.75. I was in shock. We then created fake names for ourselves and practiced calling each other by them: Alaina, Jasmine, Sasha, Steph, Sophie and Santiago. It backfired one night when a guy asked for our names and my friend responded "Jasmine!" and they quickly retorted "What's your real name?"

I stopped by Marc Ecko Cut & Sew to pick up a few shirts for Mr. Big. I browsed the watches since he loves collecting them, but they all had diamonds around the face. Unless you're a hip-hop artist or a jewelry designer, you've got no business having diamonds in your watches.

"Alaina" had connections with a local promoter, so we got on the VIP list at the clubs each night, bypassing waiting in long lines and paying admission fees. Hell, we even got free drinks out of it at some point. If you have the power in Vegas, abuse it, I say. It's like on Sex & the City when Carrie gives the most powerful woman in Manhattan a tampon, thus giving her the upper hand. Relish in it.

Our daily routine consisted of waking up, eating, shopping, eating, getting ready to go clubbing, hydrating, clubbing 'til 4 a.m., coming back to the hotel, eating, hydrating, then sleeping. Aaaaaannnnd, repeat.

The nightclub Tao was breathtaking. Bathtubs lined the entryway and were filled with floating flower petals. A giant Buddha statue sat in the lounge area, surrounded by red ambient light. Upstairs, tons of little Buddhist statues with candles lined the wall by the bar and foam floated down from the ceiling over the dance floors. It was surreal.

I had bought these awesome high-heeled shoes with rhinestones. Unfortunately, before we even got to the lobby, the zipper on the right shoe broke. As we ate dinner, the left shoe broke. I desperately wanted to wear the shoes, so I resorted to safety-pinning them together. I know, it was extremely tacky, but sometimes you'd do anything for cute shoes. As I danced the night away on a platform, my shoes kept breaking. Finally, I excused myself and walked back to our hotel. Barefoot.

The club LAVO was my least favorite out of them all. It was by the same creators of Tao, but instead of bathtubs they had sinks with constant running water and instead of hot naked chicks inside the tubs, they had a rather large woman holding a midget. Strange. The only plus-side was the bartender was the hottest guy we had seen the whole trip. He looked like a mix of David Beckham and Nigel Barker.

One drunk chick kept spilling her drink on my friend "Steph." Steph eyed her up and down as the girl apologized profusely, then proceeded to dump more of her drink on her. I began psyching myself up for a brawl, constantly shouting "What the hell?!" to the seemingly deaf drunk girl. I had 4-inch heels on, a huge diamond ring and I wasn't afraid to back my girl up. Shockingly, Steph let it go and luckily we avoided a fight.

I've come to the conclusion that people in Vegas are nice. Not necessarily the people who live there, but the visitors. We all come there for the same reasons - to get away. We're all excited about being there with the strip, all the different hotels, casinos and of course, the food. Everyone is chummy and willing to strike up a conversation. People are constantly walking around with giant margaritas. It's just the best of times.

This was further proven when "Alaina", "Jasmine" and I separated from the rest of the group to take Stripper 101 class. It was an introduction into pole/lap dancing. Say what you might, but don't knock it until you've tried it. About 30 women were in the class and were of all shapes and sizes. No one looked down upon another and we each hollered and clapped for one another. I have newfound respect for strippers...they have strong limbs. The next morning I had bruises on my shins from the pole.

We hit up the Madame Tussauds wax museum, where I posed with Tiger Woods, Jenna Jameson, Hugh Hefner and more. Some of the wax figures looked real, but others were extremely disappointing, like The Rock and Jennifer Lopez.

The last day we went to Cravings, a buffet inside the Mirage. It was a champagne brunch, so we got unlimited mimosas. We had attempted the Bellagio buffet, but the line seemed to go on for miles and we all thought f-that.

We didn't go to any shows. Quite frankly we didn't want to. We had too much fun going out at night. But by Sunday, we were ready to go home. About an hour before we headed to the airport, we ordered a giant margarita and got tanked. As we walked the sidewalks of Vegas, I couldn't help but realize how many places we had heard Journey playing. A live band was singing "Don't stop beliving...." and I started to giggle. We made it through security without problems, but the plane ride back was a bit rough. Lots of turbulence + being buzzed = nauseous.

After "Alaina" dropped me off at home, I was pleasantly surprised to find roses waiting in my bedroom from Mr. Big. A note on the mirror revealed there was a stir fry and Mountain Dew waiting for me in the fridge. I love this man.

The whole trip was extremely fun. I have so many pictures that probably aren't suited for the public eye. It's not that I was overly-naughty while in Vegas. I was really good, actually. Besides dancing on platforms, almost getting into a fight with a drunk chick and shoving a guy at a club, I wasn't all that bad...for Vegas. In actuality, all of us were pretty good in Vegas. Perhaps what they say - what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - isn't true...well, maybe except for the pictures.